Online dating safety: a checklist for the first meeting

Almost every safety rule for online dating is a decision that's easy to make on Tuesday and awkward to make on Saturday at 9pm. So make them on Tuesday.

Before you agree to meet

• Check that the person exists elsewhere in a way that matches: a photo in a different setting, a video call, a voice note. Consistency matters more than volume.
• Be wary of anyone who won't do a short video call, moves you off the app immediately, or has an urgent reason you can't verify.
• Treat money as a hard line. No loans, no gift cards, no crypto tips, no "help me with a customs fee" — not once, not for anyone you haven't met.
• Notice pressure. Rushed intimacy, love-bombing and guilt about your boundaries are the pattern, whatever the story attached to it is.

Setting the plan

1. 1Public place, daytime or early evening, somewhere you know how to leave.
2. 2Your own transport in both directions. Don't be driven, don't be collected from home.
3. 3No home addresses, yours or theirs, on a first meeting.
4. 4One hour, with a genuine reason to leave afterwards. It removes the need for an excuse.

Tell someone the details

Not "I'm on a date" — the actual details: who, where, when, and when you expect to be home. Agree on a check-in message. This isn't paranoia; it's the same thing you'd do before a hike.

In the app, the Safety Center generates a shareable date plan with the venue, the hour and an expiry, so a friend can see the details without you retyping them.

During

• Keep your phone charged and your drink in sight.
• Keep your own tab if you'd rather not owe anything, real or imagined.
• Don't share your address, workplace or full daily routine on the first meeting.
• If your gut says leave, leave. "I'm going to head off" is a complete sentence and you never owe an explanation for it.

You are allowed to end a date early for no reason other than not wanting to be there.

After

• Send your check-in message even if the date was great.
• Say the true thing about a second date within a day, kindly and briefly.
• Block and report anything coercive, and don't debate it with the person first — reports are reviewed and blocking is immediate.
• If someone pressured you for money or intimate images, keep the messages before blocking. They're evidence.

In Romania, emergency services are on 112. If something crossed a legal line, that's a police matter and not something to resolve inside a dating app — report inside the app too, so the account can be removed.

None of this makes dating clinical. It makes the first hour boring in the right way, so the interesting part can be the person sitting across from you.